"I Am American"

25 May 2004   3 comments  

Powered by Fusion×

I got this in an email from a friend. It's one of several "I AM ...", but I thought the American one was the funniest:

> I AM AMERICAN
>
> Wassup...
> I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
> And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very
>well.
> I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
> although I'm pretty sure they were American.
>
> I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
> Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
> Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
> And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.
>
> I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go
>somewhere.
> Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
> Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
> I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!
>
> The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
> The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
> And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
> MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
> AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!

Comments

Danielle
LOL does that cover it? I AM CANADIAN!
Amanda
can u send me the other ones? i had that email once but i lost it lol.. please id love u if u did lol
pretty_eyes_guitar_gurl@hotmail.com
Brandon
I AM CANADIAN
Thank you for posting a comment

Your email will never ever be published


Related posts

Previous:
Jaguar cars website 24 May 2004
Next:
McDonalds Calories 28 May 2004
Related by keywords:
To readline() or readlines() 12 March 2004
bool is instance of int in Python 05 December 2008
Reciprocal lesson about gender perspectives 02 September 2011
Nginx vs. Squid 17 March 2009
How and why to use django-mongokit (aka. Django to MongoDB) 08 March 2010
Nasty surprise of Django cache 09 December 2008
IssueTrackerProduct now officially abandoned 30 March 2012
Google Calendar, iCalendar Validator but not bloody Apple iCal 09 April 2009
On the command line no one can hear you screen. Or can they? 03 May 2012
In Django, how much faster is it to aggregate? 27 October 2010
tempfile in Python standard library 07 February 2006
Random ID generator for Zope 02 September 2005