Thanks For Your Hospitality

[Intro]
And you don't know how I feel
To dream a dream of a lifetime
And it becomes real
Yeah it becomes real, uh

[Verse 1]
Ten years doing something I hate
What a waste, what a fucking mistake
Too long I've been stuck in this place rusting away for what?
Believe it or not I'm leaving my job this evening
No reasoning could leave me to budge
Soon as I clean this coffee machine then I mean it, I'm off
I'll be meeting the boss pulling up a seat in his office
And confessing there's something that we need to discuss
I'll be like 'no amount of money's even enough
I can't be a waiter no more man it's eating me up
And I apologise dearly if it's seeming abrupt
You're getting dumped and being on the receiving end sucks
Look, I'd like to give you two weeks to a month
But two minutes more of this and I'll completely erupt
So I'll just leave now, cheers but hospitality sucks
And by the way, I always thought you were an arrogant cunt'

And then and then I'm gonna like
Walk outta there like and just start
Start high fiving everybodu
In like slow-motion man
[?]
The things I'm gonna do once I quit this fucking job

[Verse 2]
Hey man I can't take it anymore
I'm sick of spending 40 hours working in a restaurant but I'm forever poor
I'm sick of reading bad spelling on the specials board
And people telling me their screw top red was corked
I'm sick of bartenders flaring every drink they make
Dinner plates so hot I need my fucking skin replaced
I'm sick of when they say 'savings more like spendings aye'
When they pay then they try to split the bill a million ways
I'm sick of getting sprayed and drenched when I change a keg
I'm sick of management behaving like they're David Brent
I'm sick of David Gray getting played daily at every single cafe I've ever waitered at baby, ye yo
Shitty staff meals, large bills, no tips, bar's always busiest the minute that it's last drinks
Dinner rush, customers complaining like I give a fuck
Decaf skinny weak mocha lattes in a mug

[Interlude]
I mean
I really thought I was gonna do something man
I thought I was gonna be something when I was a kid
I was like, ah that's what I'm gonna be
And I said an architect
An now, now I'm just turning shit
And it's not what an architect does, that's, that's for fuckin' sure

[Verse 3]
I never thought I'd be doing something this boring this pointless and unimportant
It's not how I was brought up
It's like I just got caught up in all this
Honest to God it's the oddest thing when a job can just transform from supporting and funding your life
To becoming your life
And all of a sudden it's like awesome I'm 25 and I'm poor as
It's bulldust I'm tired of taking orders
It's the sort of stuff you do as a Uni student for 4 years
It's been ten or more, just the thought of it makes me nauseous
It's awful I'm so exhausted
I surely am looking forward to squashing my uniform in a ball
And toss it all in a bottle bin as I'm walking out tall into unemployment
Like so long, so long, to the job and all the customers too
That's right don't you think that I forgot about you
All the stories I could tell of things I've done to your food
Hey Terry can I borrow your docket pad?

[Start of outro]
Dear morons
I have done what you could not. Not saying I'm better than you but obviously I am as I have quit
I am the one who took a booking for 35 people and put it on the wrong day… on purpose
I am the one who put Parmesan in the chef's apron pockets
So when they washed their clothes everything smelled like Parmesan
I dislike most of you; and those of you I do like
I don't like enough to ever want to see you again
You may consider us friends, but your surname in my phone
Will always be saved as the name of this restaurant
Thanks for hospitality
Disrespectfully yours, Seth
PS. Get fucked, everyone
Now to just put this where everyone can see it...

[Conversation between Seth and his boss]
(knocks) Come in
Hey, hey boss
Seth how are you mate, it's uh, I'm a bit busy mate so what's going on?
This'll only, this'll only take a second
It's just uh, it's just something that I've been-
What is it mate?
It's just something that I've been wanting to say to you for a long time
Righto, well tell us bloody mate. Well, what can I do for you?
Well, if you just let me finish what I was gonna say; okay so I've been working here for about ten, ten years now and-
You have, you know it's been great having you mate, but just as uh, you're here, I've noticed that the bins in the kitchen are getting a little bit full, would you mind uh taking care of that and then uh, we can have a bit of a chat when that's done, yeah?
Okay, I'll, I'll do that
Excellent, great, thanks man
Catch ya later
Cya mate
Gotta put this note...