800 Pound Jesus

I saw a garage sale
Pulled up in the yard
Found a statue of Jesus
It was eight feet tall
He held out his arms
And he seemed all alone
So I loaded him up
And I drove him home

Out by my driveway he
Looks down the street
With long hair and sandals made
Of rebar and concrete
I painted him white with a long purple robe
He's a rock of ages on our gravel road

He's an eight-hundred pound Jesus
Standing taller than a tree
He's an eight-hundred pound Jesus
A bigger man than you or me

I thought losin' my job was
The end of the world
'Til my best pal ran off with my best girl
I felt suicidal with no real friends
So I walked outside with a rope in my hand

Out by that statue there's a big oak tree
So I stood on his shoulders
And I counted to three
I had every intention of buyin' the farm
But when I jumped off he caught me in his arms

He's an eight-hundred pound Jesus
Standing taller than a tree
He's an eight-hundred pound Jesus
A bigger man than you or me

I wanted to return the favor to him
'Cause I never had a more solid friend
So I planted some flowers
All around his feet
And I bought him a flock
Of ceramic sheep

He's an eight-hundred pound Jesus
Standing taller than a tree
He's an eight-hundred pound Jesus
A bigger man than you or me

He's a bigger man
Than you or me