We Didn't Start the Fire - 2018 NFL Season Recap (PMT 2/1/2019)

[Chorus]
Wish football wasn't over
Miss sports and drinking nearly every weekend
Wish football wasn't over
So many stories, why's baseball so boring?

[Verse 1: Big Cat]
Patriots get disrespected, New Orleans PI neglected
Alex Smith got re-infected, Le'veon sits out
Antonio is skipping practice, under Ben's skin like a cactus
Kaeperick still on the blacklist, I miss Cutler's pout

[Bridge: PFT Commenter]
You are now looking live at:

[Verse 2: PFT Commenter]
Trevor Lawrence of Arabia, sunk Bama's Lusitania
Urban Meyer's WebMD, has gigabytes of memory
Notre Dame look how they did, Brian Kelly killed a kid
Kyler Murray, baseball took him, Texas back, "Okay cool hook 'em"

[Chorus]
Wish football wasn't over
Miss sports and drinking nearly every weekend
Wish football wasn't over
So many stories, why's baseball so boring?

[Verse 3: PFT Commenter]
Coaching ranks get muddy, youthful Kareem Hunt was less than truthful
Eli Apple trade was fruitful, Michael Thomas butt
Put testicles in the C Gap, give Eric Reid a spinal tap
Hue and Todd's suicide pact, Bob Wylie, "down set hutt"
Jameis fumbles comically, Fitzpatrick's wife's anatomy
Is intimately known by him, he's wearing out fallopians
Julie Edelman's a mensch, Bortles got unfairly benched
Roll the bootleg, Golden Gophers, Jerry Jones jacks off in loafers

[Chorus]
Wish football wasn't over
Miss sports and drinking nearly every weekend
Wish football wasn't over
So many stories, why's baseball so boring?

[Verse 4: PFT Commenter]
Aaron Rodgers got his bread, Mc
Carthy's always seeing red
Stop me if you heard this before, Big Ben's feeling mighty sore
Chargers win, they're making kicks, Mrs. Rivers morning sick
Cody Parkey, field goal, oh no, hit the pole like Sonny Bono

[Verse 5: PFT Commenter & Big Cat]
Josh Allen's problematic tweets, didn't give the Bills cold feet
Riley Cooper, haven't seen ya, hiding out in Argentina
Odell Beckham got his money, now his leg feels kinda funny
Williams turned down several jobs in time it took to write this song

[Chorus]
Wish football wasn't over
Miss sports and drinking nearly every weekend
Wish football wasn't over
So many stories, why's baseball so boring?

[Verse 6: PFT Commenter & PFT as Patrick Mahomes]
"Hello my name's Pat Mahomes, I throw the ball at stadiums
Tyreek steered clear of law enforcement, got a new ketchup endorsement
Check out this cool arm-launch angle, forty-five against the Bengals
A quick release, then my passes quickly come free to [?]"
Every team wants Sean Mc
Vay, Kliff just wants to get laid
Would rather be a coach to Rosen, not So
Cal, won't wear a Trojan

[Chorus]
Wish football wasn't over
Miss sports and drinking nearly every weekend
Wish football wasn't over
So many stories, why's baseball so boring?

[Verse 7: Hank & PFT]
Belichick and Tom Brady, can't break up like Cardi B
Refs know rules but they forget, two flag penalties offset
Clay Matthews getting penalized, for landing on Kirk Cousins's thighs
How can you pay a QB, whose only record's owned are Creed?
Witten's hair has reappeared, don't unplug Boogermobile
Russell Wilson loves Ciara, gets sicks drinks concussion water [?]
Mullen's buddies with Brett Favre, Benjamin is living large
Jimmy G, tore his knee, probably got some STDs!

[Chorus]
Wish football wasn't over
Miss sports and drinking nearly every weekend
Wish football wasn't over
So many stories, why's baseball so boring?