Mrs Henderson Presents

Opening a theater

With 500 seats to fill

Is an 18 karat worry

It could make a person ill

Our Gracie's down at Empire

The Palladium's got Max Miller

But putting bums in seats in this place

Could be a blinking killer



Mrs. Henderson Presents

I can see that on a bill

There will be premiers

Where everyone is dressed to kill

London's elite will pay a fortune to be there

There will be queues from Windmill Street

All the way to So
Ho Square

It's an 18 karat thrill

When Mrs. Henderson Presents

[?]



Mrs. Henderson presents doesn't mean we'll have a hit

Without [?] on the stage

Or Geraldo in the pit

If we've no headline act we just won't bring them in

You're wrong

I'm right

I must insist Mr. Van
Damm

I'm already feeling ill

If Mrs. Henderson presents [?]



It won't be easy

I'll have to graft

It'll take all my expertise and craft

The competition is immense

Now let's find out exactly what it is

That Mrs. Henderson presents



Oh marvelous he's a catch yes

Skilled certainly

There was a chap in India

That juggled scimitars with one hand

Well he had no choice really

Thank you next

Oh I do love magic tricks

How they do it heaven knows

The magic must be good or

Hey presto we will close

It's not the kind of talent Seinfeld would employ

This trick I hate

I think he's great

Now you're starting to annoy



In a depression the house is tough

They won't want this when they're depressed enough

You've got to use your common sense

As a matter of fact that's the kind of act that

Mrs. Henderson presents

Next

One lie one love sent from above

Sweet as apple pie (oh marvelous)

Her face her smile

Makes life worthwhile

She's just right for me

How lucky can you be

One life one love sent from above

Our lives are heavenly

Absolutely splendid

He went flat

But look at him

Who'd be listening

You are banned from these auditions

Then I shall cancel the opening

Then I shall resign

Bravo Mr. Van
Damm



Always good to clear the air

Know exactly where we stand

You're quite a character

Let me shake you by the hand

Together we will make the most delightful pair

I will try to keep my nerve

I will try to keep my hair when

When Mrs. Henderson presents

The [?]

I [?] worked everyday

Front of house

The guards the wings

Box office and the take

Now these are the important things

So business is a business

We must make it pay

And if we don't

Please don't say

I'm [?] with Oy Vei



Next

Mrs. Henderson presents

You can see her name in lights



We will be the hottest ticket

Way beyond compare

There will be queues from Windmill Street

All the way to So
Ho Square

When Mrs. Henderson presents

[?]



God I hate this tension

I'm far too old for shocks

And if we're not a triumph

I'm back to selling socks

There's no need to be nervous

Our future's looking bright

But critics can be brutal

I've known shows to last one night



An opus night tradition

Might cheer you up a bit

The girls said I should wish you

The very best of shit

I beg your pardon

Please don't make me say it twice

It was hard enough the first time

You've quite misunderstood them

Or your hearing is impaired

In fact we don't translate it

What we tend to say is [?]

Oh good heavens

Good luck everybody

Break your necks

Diamonds only dazzle

[?]

But owning a theater

That's my idea of fun

They all dance

They sing

Show business is their thing

They entertain you

They've got taps on their shoes

You'll lose those blues

That's what life's about

Some things you can't live without

We know what's what

We hit the spot

So have yourselves a great night out



Mrs. Henderson Presents

Mrs. Henderson Presents

A show by Vivian Van
Damm

We're gonna raise the roof

Cause London's biggest traffic jam

We'll be the hottest ticket

Way beyond compare

There will be queues from Windmill Street

All the way to Soho Square where

Mrs. Henderson Pre

Mrs. Henderson Pre

Mrs. Henderson Presents



I can clear your mind

Others not far behind

Everyone enjoys the Windmill

Whistle and cheer up

Happiness from here on

No one sees [?]

Come in from the cold

If you're young or if you're old

You will all be there at the Windmill

We can laugh about this weather

When we're together all our woes are gone

Music comedy and laughter

[?]

You want an autograph (please)

I'll see you after

Anything to chase away the blues (away the blues)

Dance routine to [?]

Keep an eye out for tomorrow's stars

Girls with skin like a pup

Everything is here to cheer you up (cheer you up)

[?]

Relaxation really pays

All of us here at the Windmill

[?]

Happiness if yours if you need to stay indoors

There's no waiting at the Windmill

Go on now and tell your best friend

[?]