Wipe Your Ass With Sandpaper

Couldn't hold it in no longer, gotta find the John
Little did you know that everything would turn out wrong
Just a little too late by the time you let it flow
Staring wide eyed at the empty toilet paper roll

Leaving unclean not an option, your biggest regret
Now all you have is TP substitute 120 grit

Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper

Fold it into shape, on your ass it scrapes
Sandpaper is no good substitute for toilet papes
After this harsh wipe your butt is scratched and ripe
Feeling like your underside is cut up with a knife

Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper

Bloody stools, anal scabs
Your underpants will never be the same
Go!

(dope ass blasting ass guitar solo ensuing)

Tenderize your ass
The pain will surely pass
Wishing that I only had a horrible case of gas
No if's, and's, or but's
Try not to scrape your nuts
Walking like a penguin with your bloody anus cuts

Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper

Bloody stools, anal scabs
Your underpants will never be the same

Cutting, gashing, wiping, shaving
Grrrrr!

Consider this a lesson for the next time you're on the throne
Sitting in the restroom in your stall and all alone
Take a second glance
If you have the chance
If you don't want to leave
With blood soaked in your pants

Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper
Wipe your ass with sandpaper

Bloody stools, anal scabs
Your underpants will never be the same