Hydrangea Reports

By A.D. Penedo, Marshall Pailet
On album Who's Your Baghdaddy, or How I Started the Iraq War (Original Cast Recording)

[RICHART and JERRY]

Hydrangea, 1st report. August 2nd, 2001

[RICHART]

We have found the subject

Quite excitable but clear

I'll of course continue

To appraise him

[JERRY]

Curveball's talking

[RICHART]

We have further learned

That he was a senior engineer

He'll squeal so long as BND pays him

[JERRY]

He's on their payroll


[ENSEMBLE and RICHART]

Ooooh Hydrangea

Ooooh Hydrangea

[RICHART]

He speaks of his occupation

[CURVEBALL]

I went to work for CEDC -

We designed machines for farmers

Which would help their crops

To fight off fungus and thrive

Then they moved me to a secret team


To design a mobile system

That made toxic germs

No one could survive

I thought ‘please no!'

But I dare not say “no.”

So there, that's an overview -

Now I'll tell more

Then you could ask for

If they find out

No way I stay alive

Does this have four-wheel drive?

[MARTIN]

I knew about the mobile system, that's in my Compendium

Hydrangea one checks out

[BERRY]

One checks out

[JERRY]

One checks out

[RICHART]

One checks out

[RICHART and JERRY]

Hydrangea. 3rd report. August 6th

[RICHART]

To this point the subject

Tells a dark foreboding tale -

Doesn't seem concerned

If we respect him

[JERRY]

He's an asshole

[BERRY]

Cool!

[RICHART]

He describes his efforts
I
N such intricate detail

We would sure be fools

If we neglect him

[JERRY]

But he's talking

[BERRY]

Cooler

[ENSEMBLE and RICHART]

Ooooh Hydrangea

Ooooh Hydrangea

[RICHART]

He speaks of his schematics

[CURVEBALL]

My grand design called for

Three big rigs -

The first one held fermentors

To turn the fresh inoculum

Into a paste

[ENSEMBLE]

Turn into a paste

[CURVEBALL]

The next one

Carried the mixing tanks

Which is where we'd prep the slurry

The third was where

It got primed to lay waste

And I thought ‘please no!'

But I dare not say “no.”

So there, that's an overview

And I know it

Sure ain't pretty

If they find out, my name

Will be disgraced

Wanna get wastey-faced?

[BOUCHARD]

I predicted the three-rig system

You'd have to separate

The chemical processes for safety

I wrote this!

Hydrangea three checks out

[BERRY]

Three checks out

[JERRY]

Three checks out

[RICHART]

Three checks out

[JERRY and RICHART]

Hydrangea. 8th report. September 1st, 2001

[RICHART]

Now and then the subject

Can be cranky and uncouth

With all this pressure on him

Who could blame him?

[JERRY]

He's still an asshole

[RICHART]

He has quirks but don't we all

We can't deny the truth

Why would that be reason to disclaim him?

[JERRY]

They still don't care

[BERRY]

Nice

[RICHART]

He speaks of an accident he witnessed

A germ spill

[CURVEBALL]

Then one day

Things all went wrong…

Poisoned air, we had to crawl

Comrades dying -

Say “so long.”

Twelve of my dear friends In war

Can't run off now -

Must stay strong…

That's it, that's all I recall

The shit you do

Will catch up to you -

We all harvest what we sow

[RICHART]

Seems ifs not a

Single thing he's

Trying to conceal

The setback he describes

Is quite convincing

You can feel the toll it took

To weather this ordeal -

The more he tells

The more it leaves me wincing

[ENSEMBLE and RICHART]

Ooooh Hydrangea

Ooooh Hydrangea

Ooooh

Go back to main blog post

Not the right song? Post your comment for help

Showing search results from SongSearch