I got this in an email from a friend. It's one of several "I AM ...", but I thought the American one was the funniest:
> I AM AMERICAN > > Wassup... > I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked. > And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very >well. > I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg, > although I'm pretty sure they were American. > > I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated, > Guns settle disputes, not discussions. > Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing, > And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF. > > I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go >somewhere. > Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS, > Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast, > I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL! > > The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world, > The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE, > And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!! > MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister, > AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!