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"I Am American"

25^th of May 2004

I got this in an email from a friend. It's one of several "I AM ...", but I thought the American one was the funniest:

 > I AM AMERICAN
 >
 > Wassup...
 > I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
 > And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very
 >well.
 > I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
 > although I'm pretty sure they were American.
 >
 > I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
 > Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
 > Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
 > And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.
 >
 > I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go
 >somewhere.
 > Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
 > Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
 > I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!
 >
 > The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
 > The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
 > And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
 > MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
 > AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!

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